Near the end of my pregnancy, I struggled a lot with what to wear. I didn’t want to buy too many maternity clothes, but I had underestimated how wide my waist would get and assumed I would be able to wear most of my usual summer frocks. Well, that didn’t work out. Not to mention, it wasn’t exactly balmy yet in Montreal and I couldn’t just wear the few maternity shorts and dresses I did have.
Boy, was I looking forward to getting the baby out and going back to wearing my regular clothes!
All you seasoned ladies who got a human out of your baby sack have probably guffawed your coffee out of your nose by now. Yes, I had made the embarrassing mistake of assuming all of my body/dressing woes would more or less disappear once I gave birth. What a fool I was!
I knew for practical reasons (ie: breastfeeding), I wouldn’t be able to wear a lot of the dresses I usually put into the summer rotation. But between that and not exactly going back to my original waist size with the snap of a finger, I really did not have a ton that I could wear that I felt good in. Not to mention my lil’ pooch (that portion of your abdomen between your bellybutton and your lady area), who often liked vacationing on the sunny shores of Chez Jackie’s Pants, has decided to live there permanently and purchased a quaint little beach house in which to live out its sunset years.
And I recently made the grave error of trying on my usual summer go-to stash of fitted high-waisted shorts. PSA to anyone who’s recently undergone a body transformation: DO NOT TRY ON YOUR OLD SHORTS. NO GOOD CAN COME OF IT.
All this to say, after a spotless record of seven whole weeks without any post-natal body confidence issues, I spent nearly half a day feeling bad about myself before getting back to my usual state of being too tired to have many strong feelings about anything at all.
Nevertheless, I am a strong believer in wearing clothes that fit and flatter, and despite what may seem like a penchant for gaudy getups and impractical fashions, comfort does matter to me. Which is why I’ve resigned myself (more or less) to the same wardrobe I had on rotation during the last few months of my pregnancy, including a couple of pairs of maternity bottoms and my trusty unitard with several holes in it.
Although I am disappointed I can’t wear my favourite high-waisted shorts, most of my usual summer skirts, or even half of my many dresses, I do find a bit of solace in the fact that it’s only been a couple of months and a lot can happen with a body in a few months, or even over the course of a year. And if this is it for me, at least I’m allowed to go out and get some new clothes, right? Gotta find that silver lining!
P.S. I want to close out this post by borrowing from a very smart, sassy Instagrammer who has a super colourful/fun feed and also happens to have the handle @eclecticsparkblog (I know, what a coincidence!) You should go follow her.
I feel like I have to say this any time I make a comment about my appearance… I am not looking for compliments or reassurance. I know a lot of women look “worse” than me after they give birth and a lot look “better.” This is not about anyone else. I’m just sharing some thoughts and feelings about myself that in no way negatively impact my psyche or self-worth, and should not be taken as a comment about anyone else either.
Some days, I just like certain parts of my body a little less than others, and I think that’s okay and healthy. I don’t obsess over it, I don’t let it impact my life, and it only makes up a tiny part of my self-image. I think it’s okay for women (and men) to not love every single part of themselves all the time. I think that momentarily wishing that some part of us were different is fine, as long as it’s not to an unhealthy degree.
Yes, I’m smiling in these photos because after allowing myself to feel my shitty feelings, I can feel better, move on with my life, and spend a beautiful day out in the country with my lovely family.
So please don’t comment on how “great” I look. I really, truly don’t want or need to hear that. I KNOW I look great! I just had a day (and will continue to have days) where I felt bad about my body, and I wanted to share how I felt so that other people don’t assume everyone else is always happy and they’re the only ones having a shitty time.
It’s okay to feel bad, allow yourself feel what you need to feel. Just don’t let it consume you.